A Love Broem

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Originally featured on In Our Words at: A Love Broem.

Happy Valentine’s Day Y’all.

cut off t-shirts. basketball shorts

during pledge week, ironic jorts

something about you makes my heart take flight

is it the muscle milk, or the natty light?

.

for monday, wednesday, friday, three to five

the rec center comes alive

with bros

.

just look at these bros, aren’t they a treat?

wouldn’t you say their perfection’s complete?

wouldn’t you say they’re the ones

who could lift, anything?

.

there are ROTCs and fratboys a plenty

there are athletes and jocks galore

you like shaved heads?  there are at least twenty

but who cares? no big deal. i just want one

.

if one caught my eye from across the gym

would he turn away or go out on a limb

and smile at me with that idiot grin

that tells me i have a chance with him?

.

or would he turn unto his friend

and laugh upon the fag again?

proving while he condescends

that love in this gym is a dead end

.

but one in ten people, stop shitting with me

be out, be proud, be happy, be free

fine, fine, you can be the gym’s biggest jocks

but we all know, ten percent of you like the co—ommmpany of men

.

all your muscles, they quiver

like lindsey lohan with no liver

so come on bros, put me out of my misery

i can smoke more cock than a chicken rotisserie

.

it’s not my intent to just ogle and stare

you really must know, i really do care

which is why you straight ladies should learn how to share

for i too want a bro with the buzzed off hair

.

admiring from afar, it ain’t that grand

so please, let me spot you if you need a hand

we could head to the juice bar, and talk about lifts

and then head to penny pitchers, if you catch my drift

.

we could run in the park, and text during class

and maybe, if you ask, i’ll inject ’roids in your ass

oh what a great bromance we could be

order protein in bulk, get half of it free

.

now, you know, there’s bros, bros, all types of bros

black, white, puerto rican, chinese bros

my love for bros is just so strong

so don’t be alarmed when i break into sooooong

.

there’s bros over theeeere

there’s bros over heeeeere

but there’s not one single bro that is queeeeeeeeer

.

so, to all the bros

perhaps you’re in the closet?

that’s ridiculous. or is it?

i just have to ask

has anyone paid your prostates a visit?

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